underfoot...

The crunching is deafening.  Tiptoe doesn't help much despite my practice at this particular dance.  But always underfoot they lay, taunting my big laborious steps that insist on forward movement.  They are loudest, it seems anyway,  when I most need to be quiet and they set my stomach churning as my breath catches in my throat.   Those pesky triggers seem more to me, landmines, than eggshells.

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Michele and Me

The sign said  'Closed'.   Through the window could be seen cleaners mopping, organizers straightening and stockers refilling cubbies, cabinets and counters with fresh merchandise.  Maintenance was underway.  It was a necessary pause in sales to keep the store in fit condition for when the sign got flipped back to 'Open' the following morning.
Have you ever met someone who clearly had no 'Closed' side to the sign of their life?   Or 'Open' side for that matter?
Both types are out there; the frenzied sales vs. the mellowed maintenance.  My sister and I seem the perfect personifications of each extreme.  She's a constant planner, a driven go-getter, and she chases down experiences for her family so they can taste each wonderful flavor this life has to offer.  I , however, don't chase much of anything.  My personal palette doesn't crave many flavors nor do I feel the same responsibility to deliver the varied spectrum to my family.   The quiet enjoyment received from fully appreciating vanilla is where I find fulfillment.  Contentment in present circumstances, for the time the circumstances are upon us is the most valuable experience I feel I can ever offer my son.
Am I unambitious?  No!  By far, no!  I am a convicted and driven vehicle against religious intolerance and complacent Christianity as well as being a voice and example for the responsibility of personal influence in our own spheres.  I am valuable while appearing stand-still in the wake of my sister.
Is she unappreciative of her present circumstances?  No!  By far,  no!  She sees the  responsibility she has, while she can still be a tool of influence, to acquaint her family with the opportunities this world offers and the potential of her children to interact, grow within, and claim these experiences for themselves.  She is valuable while appearing to be a chaotic tsunami against the backdrop of my calm waters.
So why am I wasting your time?  I'm not; stop being so quick to judge!  There!  Did you catch that?  We judge.  We might not always like it about ourselves but we do it.  It's a reflex, call it survival if you like, where we assess possible risks in our environment in order to know whether we should pull away or draw close to someone.  And we judge more quickly in circumstances where we have very little information.  In short, we judge what we don't understand.  So here I have placed before you what would appear to be the lazy sister vs. the self-absorbed sister.  But now you know a little more.  You know we are both driven by what we evaluate to be the best circumstances for our loved ones.  You know we are both passionate in our roles as human beings who seek to get the most out of their lives.  You know I love my sister very much or I wouldn't have taken the time to introduce her strongest and most noble characteristics instead of relating the bitter feud that raged throughout our childhood concerning a certain dollhouse that......never mind.

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